Pamela Anderson Thinks Tommy Lee’s Wife Will Find Her Memoir ‘Annoying’—How She Feels About Her Ex-Husband’s New Spouse
As a half of one of the most infamous couples in Hollywood history, it’s understandable why fans want to know more about Tommy Lee’s wife now and who he’s married to after his divorce from Pamela Anderson.
Tommy, a drummer and founding member of the band Mötley Crüe, has been married four times to four wives. His first marriage was to model Elaine Stsrchuk from 1986 to 1985. His second marriage was to actress Heather Locklear from 1986 to 1993. His third marriage was to actress Pamela Anderson from 1995 to 1998. His fourth and current marriage is to former Vine star Brittany Furlan. Tommy also shares two children with Pamela: sons Brandon Thomas, who was born in 1996, and Dylan Jagger, who was born in 1997.
Buy: ‘Love, Pamela’ by Pamela Anderson $19.38
In her 2023 memoir Love, Pamela, Pamela claimed that Tommy was the “only time” she’d “truly” been in love out of her five marriages. “My relationship with Tommy may have been the only time I was ever truly in love,” she wrote. She continued, “We had fun, and our rule was no rules.” She also wrote about how her and Tommy’s infamous sex tape “ruined” their lives, including their marriage.
“It ruined lives, starting with our relationship — and it’s unforgivable that people, still to this day, think they can profit from such a terrible experience, let alone a crime,” she wrote. She filed for divorce in 1998. “The divorce from Tommy was the hardest, lowest, most difficult point of my life,” she wrote. “I was crushed. I still couldn’t believe that the person I loved the most was capable of what had happened that night. We were both devastated, but I had to protect my babies.” More than two decades later, Pamela wrote that she and Tommy “check in, every once in a while.” She continued, “Tommy is the father of my kids and I’m forever grateful.”
But back to Tommy Lee’s wife. So who is Tommy Lee’s wife now and who else has he been married to? Read on for what we know about Tommy Lee’s wives before and after Pamela Anderson.
How many times has Tommy Lee been married?
How many times has Tommy Lee been married? Tommy has been married four times to four wives: Elaine Starchuk, Heather Locklear, Pamela Anderson and Brittany Furlan.
Who are Tommy Lee’s wives?
Who were Tommy Lee’s wives? Meet Tommy’s ex-wives and see why they divorced ahead.
Brittany Furlan (2019 – Present)
Tommy Lee’s fourth wife is Brittany Furlan, an internet personality who was the second most followed female creator on Vine and the third most followed creator overall until Vine shut down in 2016. She had 9.9 million followers at the time of Vine’s shut down. Tommy and Brittany met in 2017 on the celebrity dating app Raya. “I matched with him and he was just so persistent,” Brittany said in a past interview on the podcast “How to Talk to Girls”. “He was just like, texting me every day, and being like, ‘Hey, what are you doing?’ … He was just so nice.”
The two met a week later at a Pride festival. “It was like a week later we ended up meeting up, we were both working Pride fest … I went up and tapped him on the shoulder, and he just gave me the biggest, warmest hug, and he held my hand,” she said. “We were just together ever since then.” In the 2018 Netflix documentary The American Meme, which profiled Brittany, Tommy explained what first attracted him to Brittany. “I’ve been following her for years on Vine. I was like, ‘She is so funny, and stupid and cute and beautiful,’” Tommy said.
On “How to Talk to Girls,” Brittany explained that she was hesitant to date Tommy after she was cheated on in a previous relationship. “He was like, ‘Oh, well, I’ll just give you the password to my phone and all my devices and anytime you’re feeling insecure, you can go look at anything you want,’” she said. “He’s great and so loving and so supportive and … such a good partner, honestly. Once you kind of find someone you feel safe with, that kind of changes everything.”
Tommy proposed to Brittany on Valentine’s Day in 2018 with a heart-shaped diamond ring. They married on Valentine’s Day 2019. “I met someone who I can trust because I didn’t trust anybody that I’ve dated before,” Brittany said of Tommy in The American Meme. “I’d say Tommy is my first true love and I’m finally safe and happy.”
Along with her career on Vine, Britany also starred on reality TV shows like E!’s Reality Hell and Lifetime’s Prank My Mom. In 2015, Time recognized Brittany as one of the 30 most influential people on the internet. In a 2014 interview with The Wrap, Brittany explained that her Vine career came by accident. “I started doing really goofy videos, and my following started going up. It was growing like, maybe 50 new people a day, which was kind of cool,” she said. “When I first started, I was posting all the time, because I was having so much fun with it. It wasn’t like now, where you have to be like, ‘Vine Scorsese.’”
Brittany is also an actor and has starred in music videos like Pitball’s 2014 music video for “Fireball” and movies like We Are Your Friends, Good Mourning, The Unicorn, Deported, Random Tropical Paradise and The Dirt, a movie adaptation of Mötley Crüe’s autobiography.
In an interview on The Howard Stern Show in 2023, Tommy’s ex-wife, Pamela Anderson, confirmed that she has no negative feelings toward Brittany. “She’s good to him and I totally support that and think that’s great,” she said. “I hate to be annoying and going through this again, I’m sure she’s annoyed, but I respect their relationship and just glad he’s happy and has someone in his life.” She also told People at the time, “He has a wife, and obviously I respect that relationship, and he is very happy and I’m happy for him. Still, Anderson also told The Wall Street Journal at the time that she felt Brittany would be “annoyed” by her memoir, Love, Pamela. “I’m sure it’s going to be annoying to his wife. I’d be annoyed,” she said.
Pamela Anderson (1995 – 1998)
Tommy Lee’s third wife is Pamela Anderson, an actress best known for the TV show Baywatch. Pamela and Tommy met on New Year’s Eve 1994 at the club Sanctuary in Hollywood. “He came up, grabbed me and licked my face,” she told Movieline in 1995. “I thought he was a cool, friendly, nice guy. I gave him my number.”
Six weeks later, Tommy accompanied Pamela for a photoshoot in Cancun, Mexico. The two eloped four days into their trip and tattooed each other’s names on their ring fingers. When they returned from Mexico, Pamela moved into Tommy’s home in Malibu. A year after their wedding, Pamela and Tommy welcomed their first son, Brandon Thomas, in June 1996. Their second son, Dylan Jagger, was born a year later in December 1997.
Pamela filed for divorce from Tommy on February 28, 1995, days after he was charged with spousal and child abuse. Pamela cited irreconcilable differences in her divorce documents and sought full custody of her and Lee’s sons: Brandon, who was 20 months at the time, and Dylan Jagger, who was 2 months. Tommy was arrested on February 24, 1995, after Pamela called the police and reported that her husband had kicked her in the back three times as she cradled her son Dylan, who was 7 weeks old at the time. The incident occurred the same day as his arrest. Tommy faced three felony charges of spousal abuse, child abuse and unlawful possession of a firearm, but was sentenced to jail for six months for just the spousal abuse charge after he pled no contest (which has the same effect as a guilty plea) to the charge in exchange for the others charges to be dropped. After Tommy was released from jail, he and Pamela finalized their divorce in 1998 but dated on and off for years until their final split in 2001.
In an interview with People in 2015, Pamela called Tommy the “love” of her “life.” “There was Tommy and then there was nobody else. He was the love of my life. We had a wild and crazy beginnings that was too much for both of us,” she said. “It really was love at first sight. I only knew him four days before I married him.” She continued, “I had beautiful children with him. My kids are grateful to be born out of true love. Everything else I was trying to piece together.” She also told the magazine at the time that she and Tommy were friends. “We’re good friends, we’re getting better at co-parenting our kids,” she said. “He’s such a supporter of mine and I’m really happy we’re on such great terms.”
In 2018, Tommy accused his and Pamela’s son, Brandon, who was 20 years old at the time, of assaulting him. “My heart is broken,” he captioned as since-deleted Twitter photo of him with a swollen, bloodied mouth. “You can give your kids everything they could ever want in their entire lives and they can still turn against you. Good job Brandon! Great son!” TMZ reported at the time that Brandon acted in self-defense, which Tommy denied. “Hey @Tmz maybe get your facts straight before you go reporting bullshit,” he tweeted. “My fiancé and I were in bed when my son busted into the room and assaulted me. I asked him to the leave house and he knocked me unconscious. He ran away from the police. THAT’s the truth.”
A source told Us Weekly at the time that the fight between Brandon and Tommy started over comments Pamela made about Tommy’s 1998 arrest for spousal abuse in an interview with Piers Morgan. The insider claimed that tommy was “livid” over the interview and got into a physical altercation with Brandon after he defended his mother. “Tommy was livid about comments Pam made to Piers about their relationship,” the source said. “As any devoted son would do, Brandon defended Pam and that is when all hell broke loose.” The insider continued, “The entire episode is representative of much bigger problems with the family. It’s a very sad situation because Brandon truly loves his dad.” According to TMZ, Tommy considered pressing criminal charges against his son and filing a restraining order.
In a statement to USA Today at the time, Brandon expressed how “devastated” he was by his father’s actions. “I’m devastated at the events of the last several days that have been a result of my father’s alcoholism. I’ve worked tirelessly organizing an intervention and it’s incredibly upsetting that it never came to fruition,” he said. “I wanted my dad’s hopeful sobriety and recovery to be a private family matter but, as a result of his accusations on social media, I feel forced to speak out. I have and will continue to cooperate with law enforcement as needed. I love my father and just want to see him sober, happy and healthy.”
After the fight, Pamela wrote a post on the Pamela Anderson Foundation‘s website, titled “Alcoholism is the Devil,” in which she called Tommy the “definition of narcissist/sociopath.” “I will never talk to Tommy again before he is sober and in his right mind. Though he’s made attempts to contact me,” she wrote. “I have blocked him. It is impossible to reason with crazy. I’m sure the world can see the truth. I stand beside my son who acted out of self defense and was scared for his life.” She continued, “Nobody understands the lifetime of disappointment this man has brought our family. Consistently the centre of sadness, drama and confusion. Jealous of his sons talent and beauty from the day they were born. He is sick. The definition of narcissist/sociopath.”
During their marriage, Pamela and Tommy also became tabloid sensations after a sex tape they filmed while they were on their honeymoon was leaked. The tape was leaked by Tommy’s electrician Rand Gauthier, who, along with several other employees, were fired without pay after Tommy claimed that their renovations were shoddily done on his home. After he was fired, Gauthier, who was stiffed of $20,000 from Tommy, returned to his and Pamela’s mansion to retrieve his tools, at which point Tommy allegedly pointed a shotgun at him and told him, “Get the fuck off my property.”“ I was never really that popular with people,” Gauthier told Rolling Stone in 2014. “But I had never been held at gunpoint. It screwed with my head.”
As revenge, Gauthier stole Pamela and Tommy’s safe in their garage, which contained Tommy’s gun and Pamela’s jewelry, as well as a homemade sex tape that the couple made on their honeymoon, which Gauthier had no idea existed. Gauthier told Rolling Stone that it took him and hour to cut into the back of the safe with a demolition saw outfitted with a composite diamond carbide blade. Inside the safe were family photographs, a Rolex, a gold-and-diamond Cartier watch, gold-and-emerald cufflinks, a ruby-and-diamond cross, the white bikini that Pamela wore to their beach wedding, and a Hi8 tape that could be inserted into a handheld camcorder. Gauthier brought the tape back to the North Hollywood porn studio where he also worked and watched it with the studio owner. “We put it in and see what it is, and of course, cha-ching. The dollar signs fly before our eyes,” he said. “But we’re going, this is the kind of thing people will get killed over.”
In January 1996, three months after the theft, Tommy and Pamela filed a police report and hired private investigator Anthony Pellicano to find out what happened to their safe. On March 29, 1996, Tommy and Pamela, who learned that the magazine Penthouse had acquired a copy of the tape, filed a $10 million civil lawsuit against everyone they suspected to have a copy, including Gauthier. On November 25, 1997—after physical copies of the tape had already been distributed—the couple decided to settle with Seth Arshavsky, a 25-year-old who had a copy of the tape and had developed early versions of pay-per-click ads, streaming video and online credit card processing. Tommy and Pamela settled with Warshavsky under the impression he could show the tape over the internet but not sell it in stores, which they later realized was a grave mistake after Warshavsky sold hundreds of thousands of copies of the tape online. Pamela and Tommy sued Warshavsky again—this time in federal court. In 2002, a judge ordered Warshavsky to pay the couple $740,000 each. According to Rolling Stone, the couple never saw that money.
Pamela and Tommy’s sex tape was made into a Hulu series titled Pam & Tommy in 2022. In an interview with Variety in January 2023, Anderson revealed that she “refused” to watch the series because of how it sensationalized her life. “It was just shocking,” she said. “Tommy probably thought it was funny. I remember Tommy writing me a note saying, ‘Don’t let this hurt you like it did the first time,’ because he had heard through the kids that I was kind of struggling with the idea of bringing this all up again. I don’t think he was portrayed kindly. I just know that I refuse to watch it.”
She also called the creators of the series “assholes.” “Salt on the wound. … You still owe me a public apology.” she said. “It just looked like a Halloween costume to me.” Still, she told Variety that she didn’t have anything negative against James and even invited her to the premiere of her documentary in January 2023. “I said to Netflix, ‘I’d love to invite Lily to the premiere of the movie,’” Anderson said. “I think it’s hard to play somebody when you don’t know the whole picture. I’ve got nothing against Lily James. I think that she’s a beautiful girl and she was just doing the job. But the idea of the whole thing happening was just really crushing for me.”
She also explained to Variety why she didn’t consider herself a “victim” by what happened to her by Pam & Tommy or anything else in her life. “I’m not a victim, and I’m not the damsel in distress,” Anderson said. “I’ve made my choices in my life. Some obviously were made for me, but I’ve always been able to find myself again. And it’s created a strong person and a strong parent.”
Heather Locklear (1986 – 1993)
Tommy Lee’s second wife is Heather Locklear, an actress best known for shows like Melrose Place, Dynasty and Spin City. Tommy and Heather met in 1985 at an REO Speed-wagon concert in Los Angeles, where they were both backstage with friends. “I was so shy I couldn’t possibly have gone up to her myself,” Tommy told People in 1986, “but it was Heather or bust.” (Heather told People that she had barely heard of Mötley Crüe at the time she met Tommy.)
Tommy and Heather started dating after she visited her dentist, and the doctor told her that he heard Tommy was trying to contact her. Soon after, her manager received a call from Tommy, begging for Heather’s phone number. “I had called like a million times,” Tommy said. “I wanted to send her flowers or invite her to something…anything just to talk to her.” Heather, who just ended romances with Scott Baio and Tom Cruise, gave in. “We talked for hours. After we hung up I got a phone call back. It’s Tommy, and he says, ‘Turn on the TV—you’re on right now.’ I hadn’t been doing Dynasty much, and it was Wednesday night, and I immediately knew he thought I was Heather [The Fall Guy] Thomas,” Heather told People.
Three months after they first met, Heather proposed to Tommy in a hotel room in Dallas. “I said, ‘Now, don’t say that kind of stuff unless you mean it,’ ” Tommy recalled. “I didn’t want to be heartbroken.” Tommy proposed to Heather on Christmas Eve in 1985 while riding in a limousine on the Ventura Freeway. He placed a 2.3 carat diamond ring on Heather’s finger and asked her, “Will you marry me?” “Yes!” she responded, according to People.
They married on May 10, 1986, a the Santa Barbara Biltmore in Santa Barbara, California. Heather was 24 at the time, while Tommy was 23. They divorce in 1993 after seven years of marriage. In an interview with Blender’s in 2004, Tommy confirmed that he cheated on Heather before their divorce. “Yeah, fucking with porno stars ruined my marriage,” he said. “That was in ’93, right before I got divorced from Heather.” When asked how many women he’d had sex with, Tommy responded, “Fuck. I don’t know. Two…hundred?”
In an interview with Esquire in 2003, Heather hinted that she had forgiven Tommy for his behavior during their marriage. You just have to forgive them for being men,” she said. “You can’t keep changing men, so you settle for changing your lipstick. She added, “I don’t date rock ‘n’ rollers. I just marry them.”
Elaine Starchuk (1984 – 1985)
Tommy Lee’s first wife was Elaine Starchuk, a model and dancer. They married at the end of 1984 and divorced seven days later in 1985, according to The Sun. Not much is known about Elaine other than she continued to work as a model throughout the 1980s after her divorce from Tommy.
Love, Pamela by Pamela Anderson
Buy: ‘Love, Pamela’ by Pamela Anderson $19.38
For more about Pamela Anderson, read her 2023 book, Love, Pamela. The memoir takes readers through Anderson’s life and career, from her childhood as a deeply shy daughter of unprepared parents in Vancouver Island to how she became the blonde bombshell she’s known as today and found herself on the cover of magazines, sets of movies, arms of rockstars and the halls of the Playboy Mansion. The book, which is described as “honest, layered and unforgettable,” also explores how, as Anderson’s star rose, she lost control of her own narrative and became the subject of the tabloids and paparazzi who crafted a public perception of her she no longer recognized. In Love, Pamela, Anderson “breaks the mold of the celebrity memoir while taking back the tale that has been crafted about her.”
Pam & Tommy is available to stream on Hulu. Here’s how to watch it for free.
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